Anything and Everything

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2008-01-12T15:03:00.001Z

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Digital Turntable...

EUR285

DVD - CD Turntable...

EUR655

TWORK- world phone...

EUR235

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Tomtom Go 910 GPS...

EUR225

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Everything in one place. All new Windows Live!

2006-01-10T11:29:00.000Z

This morning I didn't get off to the best of starts anyway...... I fell back
asleep after my alarm went off, so by the time I woke up again I had 20
minutes in which to dress myself, dress and feed the 2 children, do my
daughters sandwiches, get coats on and leave to be at the school on time!

Looked out the window and saw it was THROWING it down with rain, so also had
to find wellies, umberellas, raincover for the pushchair etc..... and THEN I
remembered it's Tuesday!!! AAARRGGHHH!! Bin Collection day! ...... and guess
who'd forgot to put ours out?

So, having put the bin and the 2 recycling boxes out, we headed off for the
school still on time! ..........until I hit the obstacle course that is
everyones wheelie bins!

Honestly! It's like trying to do a cycling profficiency test..with a
pushchair! I had to weave in and out of bins, and at one point I had to
negotiate how to get round a bin in the middle of the path using only 2
wheels (ours is a 3 wheeler) without tipping the pushchair into the road!!

Then, just as I'm nearing the school and I think the worst is over, there's
the bin lorry blocking the entire road!!!! The school is at the end of a
narrow cul-de-sac, so one bin blocks the path anyway, plus everyone parks
their cars half on the pavement so the bin lorry can get through, and then
there's the added bonus of parents driving their kids to school who can't
get through either, so the whole road was completley blocked off!!!!

So, I'm standing there drenched by this time, the rain has soaked through my
coat, one of my boots has decided to split so my sock is squelching and if
looks could melt wheelie bins!!! Well.......

The whole scene was only missing a police car and a bit of yellow tape. We
could have had an official blockade!!!!

I'd be better off getting a jet pack and flying to the school!!!

I ought to print off some stickers and stick them to wheelie bins on my way
to the school next week..."Please park your bin courteously!".
Honestly, whats wrong with having your wheelie bin outside your
house?....but no. Round here it's like people are ashamed of having rubbish
outside their house, so they ABANDON their bin as far from their house as
possible, at an angle, in the middle of the path so noone can get past
it!!...

But, as they say, things can only get better, so now I'm all nice and dry
and warm and calm again, I hope the rest of my day is better!!!

_________________________________________________________________
Are you using the latest version of MSN Messenger? Download MSN Messenger
7.5 today! http://messenger.msn.co.uk

Keith Barrett

2005-06-13T13:32:00.000Z

Hi all!

Saturday night we went to see Keith Barrett in Wolverhampton. That bloke is SOOOO funny!!!!

Picking his way through a list of people, noone was left unscathed. He managed to make fun of Blind People (saying their guide dogs had more faculties than they did), Diabetics (throwing chocolates at diabetics in the audience), people who had recently lost their partners (why the hell were they going out so soon?) and generally picking out members of the audience to humiliate. (I am SO glad we weren't near the front on this occassion!!!!).

Haven't had such a laugh for a long time!!!!

Me and Elvis!!

2005-05-25T10:40:00.000Z

It's a garage!

2005-04-25T10:52:00.000Z

I had another "stuff we don't sell at the garage" customer at the weekend.
He parked up in a van, failed to notice the 9 petrol pumps sitting out the
front, bypassed the oil and Magic Trees, and asked if we had any information
leaflets about Orange Mobile Phones.
????????
What's that all about? lol

Long Time No Blog....

2005-04-21T16:08:00.000Z

Hi all!!
Been neglecting my blogspot somewhat recently haven't I?
Well half that reason is probably the fact that I was internetless for 4
days after the men who were supposed to be putting our windows in went
through the phone line instead. GGGrrrr!!!
Not been up to much, but I'm looking forward to my holiday in America next
week! Las Vegas here I come!
Been to 2 gigs since I last wrote. The Manic Street Preachers and The Tears.
One was really really good, and one was utter Bo****ks. (And by that, I
don't mean the dogs).
We walked out of the Manics gig when they announced they were about to do an
8 minute accoustic bit. What???? I was already yawning!!!! They were just so
bland and dull!!!
On the other hand, The Tears, last night were really really good.
Considering they have no songs out yet, so they played nothing I've heard
before (not even an old Suede song for old times sake!), they were good.
Definately will be looking out for more of their stuff. So, recommendations
for The Tears from me.

Take Care

Lisa
x

How true....

2005-03-22T04:38:00.000Z

A recent study found that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can
differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged and
masculine features.
And if she is menstruating, she is likely to prefer a man doused in petrol
and set on fire, with scissors shoved deep into his temple and a cricket
stump jammed up his ar$e .

London Tube

2005-03-17T09:54:00.000Z

Subject: London tube

The following are a list of actual announcements that London Tube train
drivers have made to their passengers...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction".

"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."

"Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a points failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now....'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'".

"We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that".

"Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me."

During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: "step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately towels are not provided".

"Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause ...) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."

"Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct and separate instructions."

"Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."

"We can't move off because some idiot has their f****ng hand stuck in the door"

"To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"

"Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause..) Please move ALL belongings away from the doors (Pause...) This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train - put the pie down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your a**e sideways"

"May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage".

A Joke For You

2005-03-14T14:48:00.000Z

David Beckham runs in early from training one afternoon and dashes to the bedroom to find Posh spread out on the bed naked, puffing and panting. Becks asks her suspiciously "What are you doing?" Posh stutters a reply "I'm - er, er.... I'm having a heart attack" "Oh no" he cries in despair. "I'll call an ambulance". He runs downstairs, picks up the phone and begins dialling 999. However, he is stopped in his tracks by a tearful Brooklyn. "What's the matter, son?" asks Becks. "Uncle Giggsy is in the wardrobe with no clothes on, daddy" sniffles Brooklyn. Infuriated by this, Beckham runs upstairs and kicks down the wardrobe door. Sure enough, the carpet-chested Welshman is stood there, starkers. "You w@nker Giggsy" screams Becks. "My wife is right over there having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the sh!t out of Brooklyn."

Do Petrol Stations sell Spam?

2005-03-13T10:07:00.000Z

As some of you know, your Ladyship here joins the ranks of the Working Class 3 times a week to perform her economic duties (i.e I have a job in a petrol station).
A bloke came in yesterday, obviously didn't see the 16 foot sign saying we are a petrol station.lol.
Have you got a cash machine? (he asks)
No
Do you do Cashback?
No
Do you do phone top ups?
No
Lottery?
No
Flowers?
No
Safety Pins (??????)
No
Stamps?
No
(There is a huge pause at this point......)
What do you do then?
EEErrrm, the clue is in the title of the establishment. PETROL Station!!!!!! Some people....honestly!

Have Fun!
Lisa
x

Neighbours

2005-02-25T09:43:00.000Z

All together now. "Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours........."
Todays rant is about our next door neighbour. Or Bermuda man as I now refer to him. This is the man who still thinks it's funny to come outside everytime I'm having a cigarette out there and say "It's far too cold to smoke out here". The joke wore thin after about 57 times. And besides, that's not the point. This is coming from the man who wears Bermuda shorts in Winter and sports a Perma-tan. This is the guy who says "It's too cold to smoke out here, you'd be better off giving up" WHILE he's standing there WASHING his car in the SNOW!!!
Not only that, but he was moaning that the water was freezing on his car!
I think he's having a mid-life crisis myself. I mean, the bloke has had a new car and it's a silver KITT. The guy thinks he's a Bermuda short wearing grey haired David Hasselhof!
A prize for the first person to tell me what KITT stands for. (I know, but do you?)

2nd rant. I've got one word to say. Cruz. Need I say anymore? The blokes an idiot.

TTFN and be nice to your neighbours and postie's!

Lisa
x

Lend me your ears Peasants

2005-02-16T14:10:00.000Z

Dear Peasants (normal folk)
As of February 14th 2005, I am to be referred to by my proper title.
As the proud owner of a square foot of land in Scotland (GlenCairn), I now hold the legal (and binding) title of Lady.
Of course, I always knew I was a lady but now it's official (stop sniggering).
In honour of my new title, I have adopted a theme song. Call it a sort of anthem or what you will. Till we meet again peasants!!

Lady Lisa

http://www.funlol.com/funpages/most-annoying-song.html

Funnies

2005-02-11T10:47:00.000Z

Check out the mad scientist!
http://www.lifeisajoke.com/flash8_html.htm

How to keep idiots amused for hours!!! (Kept me busy for about 10 minutes)
http://www.funlol.com/funpages/play-catch.html

This is SOOOO funny! Roflmao
http://www.lifeisajoke.com/flash10_html.htm

Pop will Bore itself

2005-01-31T14:48:00.000Z

Hi all!

Haven't written anything for a while. (not that anyone reads this anyway.lol)
What have I been up to???? erm.... Went to see Pop will eat itself Live on 22nd January. I was fully prepared to be surprised as I was when I saw Neds Atomic Dustbin. I saw them thinking they'd be rubbish and they turned out to be really good. This time, I went thinking it might be good and it was rubbish!!! Worst of it was, Chris bought the Instant Live CD, so the same rubbish I'd just suffered for 90 minutes was on in the car on the way home! (yawn). I'm still doing my avi freebie hunting, and this morning I received some Horny Goat Weed. It's supposed to be an aphrodisiac. What I want to know is Was it the goat that was horny, or just the weed? lol. Might slip some into Chris's drink when he's not looking. I've got 30 tablets of the stuff, so anyone who knows me, watch your drinks when I'm around. Could have some fun with this!! Chat soon..............Lisa x

'King news

2005-01-15T09:24:00.000Z

Some, 'king news for the, 'king fans out there....

www.liljas-library.com/'

Have 'king fun!!

Lisa
x

Your Japanese name

2005-01-13T11:15:00.000Z

What's your Japanese name?

www.rcs.k12.va.us/csjh/japanesename.htm',1

This is funny! lol

Lisa
x

Sparrows

2005-01-12T15:49:00.000Z

Hi all.
I did one of those email test things yesterday, you know the sort...... anyway the conclusion was that my life can be summed up in 7 words "I wish I had an evil twin". lol.
Maybe, I already have.....
The Sparrows are flying again......................

Ha Ha

Lisa
x

Rant of the Day

2005-01-07T13:32:00.000Z

Time I had a bit of a rant I think. I haven't had one for a while. Hang on while I pick a topic......................................
David Beckham. (Hands up if you knew that was coming!). So, Saint David is going to visit the Tsunami disaster area. One question immediately springs to mind. Why the hell wasn't he there 2 weeks ago? (think about it).
Did anyone notice that people were actually starting to tire of the Beckhams and that at last the Beckhams were losing their popularity? Does David really think that by going to "help" those poor people that it will improve his status? It may get his name back in the tabloid papers for a while, but he fails to realise that his little plot has been foiled. Get of the fame train David, you've missed your stop, and using a national disaster for your own means won't win you any fans. So, sue me!
End of rant................

The Stand

2005-01-07T13:24:00.000Z

Hi all!
Found a great new Stephen King site for you fellow King fans to check out. It's not been up long but it's very lively with loads of good chat and very friendly members. See you there!http://groups.msn.com/StephenKingTheStand/welcome.msnw

Lisa
x

Area E-5

2004-12-29T10:38:00.000Z

Hi all,
So, did Santa bring you what you wanted?
I got the moon...... Well, an acre of it anyway. So, anytime you want to drop by, my address is 129/1678 Area E-5, Quadrant Foxtrot. If you have any trouble finding it, it's located 6 squares south and 19 squares east of the extreme Northwest corner of the recognised Lunar chart. Haven't met many of the neighbours yet, just the one, but he seems okay, so feel free to drop in and I'll introduce you.

This guy is DEFINITELY invited. Lol. http://www.funlol.com/funpages/fat-dude-singing.html

Lisa
x

Music for the Dustbin Generation

2004-12-23T10:58:00.000Z

Remember Neds Atomic Dustbin?????
I went to see them last night. lol. It was a bit of a contrast to the Morrissey gig last week, I can tell you! No quiffs or suede jackets in sight! No, we were thrust straight back to 1991. The days of trench coats and Greebo's (haven't used that word for ages!!!!). Everyone had dug out stuff that had been festering at the bottom of the wardrobe for 10 years. It was like a sixth form beer throwing fest. I observed from the relative safety of the balcony. (I say relative, because I was being hounded by the cigarette police). Crowd surfing is apparently no longer allowed. The 4 security men weren't impressed and threw a lot of people out.....especially the one who looked like Peter Kay (how darrrr you).
I went to have a cigarette in peace in the bar and felt a tap on my shoulder. No, not a beer tap. I thought it might have been the cigarette police because some of my smoke was drifting onto the balcony, but it was a fellow Morrissey fan showing me her stub. (Make of that what you will!).
Anyway, I wasn't a "Neds" fan back in the day, but I must admit they were really good, and the singer didn't seem scarred for life after speaking to my 3 year old daughter on the phone. But, that's another story. lol.
Next gig lined up is Pop will eat itself in January. Not really enthusiastic about it, but who knows? I may be surprised!

Lisa
x

Weeee!!!

2004-12-20T13:26:00.000Z

Check this out!!!!! lol!

http://www.funlol.com/funpages/weee.html

Lisa
x

Samuel L. Jackson

2004-12-17T13:51:00.000Z

Have you noticed how Samuel L. Jackson gets EVERYWHERE????

He's even on my blogspot.lol

http://www.jokaroo.com/ecards/soundboards/samueljackson.html

Kwik Save and Christopher Reeves

2004-12-16T10:39:00.000Z

Had an email from Kwik Save. No mention of biscuits!! See for yourself. lol.

http://www.kwiksave.co.uk/newsletters/newsletter_52_2004.htm

Anyone read The Sun on Tuesday? Posh and Becks beheaded. Ha Ha.

Also came across this touching tribute to Christopher Reeves. Please take a moment to look at it and admire the artwork.

http://www.wwwebsbysusie.com/Special/Christopher_Reeve/

Lisa
x

Morrissey, Morrissey, Morrissey.....

2004-12-15T08:19:00.000Z

Hi all!!!
Guess who I went to see last night?????? Give up? The clue is in the title, 9 letters begins with M?
Yes, Morrissey was at the NIA in Birmingham last night, and what a fantastic show! Only downpoint was I lost one of my earrings in the scrum! So, if anyone out there was at the NIA last night and you've gained a gold hoop earring, it's mine!
Mozza was dressed in his vicar outfit. I could just make him out over the rows of quiffs and suede coats. (What is it with Morrissey fans and suede coats?). Soon found our way to the front though with a bit of tactical configuration. (i.e shove everyone else out of the way and fight your way to the front! (hence the lost earring)). Anyway, I won't bore you non-Mozza fans with indepth detail of the show but I really enjoyed it.
There was a rumour circulating that at his gigs they were selling pillowcases embroidered with "last night I dreamt somebody loved me". I really wanted one but had they got any? Had they fu**! If anyone knows where I CAN get one, I would be grateful.
On to other stuff.... Manager of Kwik Save hasn't replied to my emails concerning the disappearance of "no frills" digestive biscuits, and latest freebies I've received are shampoo, shower gel, coffee and max factor foundation.
Have fun!
Lisa
x

First Freebie!

2004-12-08T10:20:00.000Z

My first freebie arrived today! A set of Ferrari car stickers. Completley useless, but FREE! Anyway, my brother said he wants them so that will save me getting him a christmas present (ha ha).
Had a laugh yesterday. I was looking through some old photos and I came across one of my best friend (and you know who you are!) from about 1992, sitting next to a packet of "no frills" digestive biscuits. It's a classic! lol! Remember the "no frills" line that Kwik Save used to do? It was great! We had a song dedicated to it "no frills, no frills, no frills, no frills....." (to the tune of Amazing Grace - we had the harmonies going on there and everything). I mean, whats a camping holiday in Wales without a packet of "no frills" digestive biscuits? We used to buy one pack, for about 20p and they'd last 7 people a whole week!? ....Thus, my next mission I am setting for myself. I'm going to find the top manager of Kwik Save Plc and insist he brings back "no frills" digestive biscuits. I hope you're all prepared to sign my petition! Watch this space.................
Lisa
x

Chat with Santa

2004-12-06T10:42:00.000Z

Hi all!

Just been seeing what freebies I can scrounge on the internet. So far I've claimed a free childrens storybook, a free christmas ring tone for my phone,free text messaging, shampoo, shower gel, a stepometer, some ferrari stickers,toothpaste, coffee and some shaving cream. (It's a start!!) Anyway, I came across a little site you might like to try.
http://www.chatwithsanta.com/

What have you got to lose?

Lisa
x

Celebrity

2004-12-04T17:38:00.000Z

Hi All!
So, who's been watching "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here"?
I swore to myself I wasn't going to watch it this year, as it takes up far too much valuable TV watching time, but I've found myself drawn to it just as small children are drawn to clean bedsheets with blackcurrant pop.
Isn't Janet just about the most annoying person ever (apart from a mother-in-law I had, but it's close.....very close)? I'm telling you, if she tried to interfere when I was cooking one of my stir frys, there'd be hell to pay. I'd shove the handle of that frying pan somewhere so hard, it'd wipe that sour trout faced look from her face.
So, I'm thinking at this point, I'd like to see Paul Burrell win. Actually, I'm thinking we should have a version of celebrity where David Beckham is flown into the middle of a jungle and left there. No trials, no company, no cameras, no PUBLICITY and just forgotten about!
Anyway, me being helpful, and all, if there's anyone who is stuck for an ideal Christmas present for someone, look no further! I have done the searching for you!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/cubegoodies/posters/techie/70f2/?cpg=cj

Have a nice weekend all!
Lisa
x

Hi all!!

2004-12-04T01:48:00.000Z

Hi to all you who have found your way here!
Not much on here to start with, but I welcome ideas of any sort.
Must get back to my celebrity stalking and make it a regular feature on here. Well, thats my first idea!
Speak to you all soon.
Lisa
x